SunnyOtaku

The past week had been a really fun week, full of up and downs, but definitely, the fun times beat the bad ones. I love 1T10 like mad-awesome-crazy and no, friends, I do NOT look blur, and yes, my aspiration is to become a man. Though it’s only been a short week together, I can tell that we’re all gonna be great classmates! (:  Let’s work hard together!

Anyway, I cam to rant, again. I had to get this off my chest. This is just a confirmation to myself that I’m giving up. Sure, it’s only been a short time, but well, these stuff can’t be controlled right? I mean, I can’t even believe how happy I can get even when you just talk to me or anything, wtv, like, I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help it. Still, after reading those stuff today, I realized that I shouldn’t anymore, because it’s just wrong. No good will come out of this, for both me, and especially for you. I mean, I can tell that you like her so much so, I just shouldn’t be like this anymore. You’re so happy with her and you love her too, too much. Well, I don’t think I even wanna talk to you anymore since it’ll just get my hopes up. Just to make me so overjoyed, and then to let me come crashing down again and again. 

Though, half of me still feels like I shouldn’t have read all those, because if I didn’t, I’d probably feel so much better right now, though I’d still be trapped in my own little bubble.

It’s sad how no one understands me and thinks that I’m obsessed, but I just can’t help it. I really do like you a whole lot. When I’m happy, I have no one to talk to, and when I’m sad, I can’t tell others either because they’d just say, “I told you so” or “I knew he was a douche”. I can’t stand the thought that actually, you might be making fun of me behind my back. I don’t even know why I like you. That sucks. Why is it that of all people I could like, I just had to like you, someone who’s way out of my league and someone I can never get?

I’m lucky that not many people know my LJ, because as people say, rumors spread like wildfire. Though, I already think that he knows I like him.

I guess, today’ll be my last day I’ll ever talk to him. As much as I want to deny it, I can’t, because I know that I’ll definitely miss you.

I keep thinking of you, what should I doo? If only I could speak in a different language and just tell everyone my thoughts, straight in their faces, especially to him, how good it would be. It’d be a huge load off my shoulders.

Do you not know how much I hate you? Every single day, if it’s not work, all I think about is you, you, you AND you, which sucks. I check my phone, waiting for your text, I check FB, waiting for you to talk to me, I check on MSN, just to see if you’re online and will talk to me. It’s the same cycle everyday. WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY, if you don’t want to talk to me, don’t give me false hope by talking to me in school, by asking me questions, by teasing me, by telling me, “I’ll text you tomorrow!” when you don’t.

YOU SUCK

I am as sad as fuck now. WHY ME? WHY ME WHY ME? :( If only it were someone else, it would’ve been SO MUCH BETTER.

likeyouilikeyouilikeyou

Okay this is just random ranting, do not read if you don’t want to. I just need somewhere to rant and err, many people know my LJ so… I’ll just post here.

I SHOULD NOT SHOULD NOT SHOULD NOT HAVE ADMITTED IT TO MYSELF :(

I love my new school, I do, but oh crap. He just had to appear. Ergh. Whywhywhy did he have to just appear? I was better off not knowing him. For the past 2 days, all that has been going through my mind is him, him and him. CRAP. For the first day, he was just eye-candy, and then… he just had to be so darn, okay, I don’t know what the phrase is but, okay, adorkable. AAAA. Okay, nevermind nevermind.

What the hell happened to my minimum age gap of 4?! It has now reduced to 1. To think that I never knew J2 guys don’t look like boys. Not at all. Boys are scrawny, immature, un-manly creatures. But omg, unexpectedly, I was proved wrong. Crap, now tell me how I’m supposed to study?

BUT, I can’t help but grin at the fact that we actually had recess together.

Okay, no one saw that. I can’t believe I’m saying this. But aah, it’s the first time :/ And it’s already giving me headaches. I knew I wasn’t up to being in a mixed school!